shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
