I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
