Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
