Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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