How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
