I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
