We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
