After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
