i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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