He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
