I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
