They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
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