I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
