Nicole vs. Life
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
