Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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