Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
