I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
