Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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