I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
