Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
