I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm both gender and math confused
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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