so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
