I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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