I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
