I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
