I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I still have a little drunk in my system
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
