Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
