Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
