very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
