Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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