he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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