But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
