it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
