Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
