3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
