I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
