its not stalking. its research.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
