Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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