come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
