i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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