do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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