I heard we made out
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just want nice things and good sex
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
