Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I yelled at your uterus for you.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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