so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
