i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
