the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
