Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
