what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
