You work out of a Hotel?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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