Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
