spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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