I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
