Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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