twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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